Tips • 7 April 2008 • The SnowBlog



Might I recommend to you all some instructions I read today in an old issue of MAKE magazine about how to cut down a tree. I'm not planning to cut one down, but if I ever did, now that I've read these instructions I think the chances of me dying will have been roughly halved. That's down from starting odds of about 100% (though it's probably best to ignore the article's first bit of advice).

Click on the picture above for the whole thing, but here's the jolly way in which it starts::

Warning! Get really drunk first. Then it won't hurt so much when you chainsaw your face off and crush your family.

First step - find a tree to cut down. No problem. As soon as you know how to cut down a tree people will sense it and constantly ask you to cut down trees for them. It will help if you know some of the technical vocabulary:

Equipment: Every piece of equipment used in this process is called a "Widowmaker".

Tree Anatomy: The tree and every part of the tree is called a "Widowmaker".

Terrain Analysis: Everything in the vicinity of the tree is called a "Widowmaker".


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