Eeep • 23 September 2008 • The SnowBlog


There's something in my chimney. (updated) I have a disused fireplace in my home office room, but there's a critter who's using it. I have tried to explain that it's disused, and the meaning of that, but it just makes scrabbling sounds at me. I do not know what size or type of critter it is. Nor do I want to open up the little sealed hatch to find out because then I'd have a loose critter about the house to catch - and I am not at my most nimble at the mo. But I don't want it to be trapped, or hurt. What does one do, in these situations? If it doesn't extracate itself by tomorrow morning, perhaps I should call the RSPCA. Or get Rob to come over with a fishing net. //update - Oh, it's a bird. I heard it flap. What do I do, internets? // //update - Now the ever-astute cats have noticed that there is a bird in the chimney, about an hour after it arrived there, and are taking it in turns to bat and head butt the chimney flap. This is not going to end well. // //final (?) update - The lovely man from the RSPCA came (he was quite skinny and had a standard issue RSPCA navy blue jumper on, and because it was too big for him it made his epaulettes look GIANT) and - of course - the bloody bird was nowhere to be seen. He heard a brief spasmic flutter and a fussy cheep, and then nothing. So the bird must have taken the man from the RSPCA seriously, but not me, and scarpered. And now my office is smothered in decades-old dust and the RSPCA man has trodden soil all up my stairs and landing carpet. Sob. Still, it was extremely nice of him to come out and I'll send them a cheque - once I've cleaned this house. //


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