Call-in-the-bag • 17 November 2007 • The SnowBlog
Humanity's indomitable spirit - a case in point. Remember my stupid wireless headset for my phone? Well, it's coming in very handy now. You might also recall I can only use it when there's no one else around because it's idiotic looking. Well, that's fine because this in particular scenario I'm sat at home on my sofa.
The problem? Moving to the countryside means that the mobile-phone waves struggle to penetrate the dense foliage and the heavy pelts of the nearby animals, meaning that I hardly get a signal when I'm at home. The solution? Hang my phone in a little plastic bag on the doorknob in the one position where it works properly. Then retire to the sofa wearing a blue-flashing bluetooth head-dress for recumbent phoning luxury, as suggested by the following rather fancifully-interpretive marketing picture.
Of course I could use my home phone - or Skype - but it's a matter of principle. Orange (my phone provider) got in touch to tell me I could nominate one other Orange user and I could call that person as much as I liked and for as long as I liked for free! Hurray! Well, most of my calls are to Em so I chose her. And then a week later I moved to the countryside where I could only get a phone signal by pressing my face up against the glass of the door. It's almost as though Orange knew. And even more coincidentally, Em took up a similar offer, choosing me as her freebie phone buddy, and also found that her new country home would only let her make calls when she pressed her head to the window.
So picture us both, saying 'Sorry I can't hear you' as we jammed our heads into a corner. It was more restrictive than a regular home phone, because at least then you have a curly cord that lets you nod or adjust your sitting position without cutting you off.
But I'm determined to get my free calls, and I'm determined to be comfortable as I do so, even if it means I have to wear pulsing blue lights on my head. So take that, Mother Nature, with your beautiful phone-unfriendly vistas and your signal-absorbent majesty.