Subscribe to RSS 2.0Disappointing
Em on her lunch-break
At the other end of the 'good supplier' spectrum, I have today taken three phone calls, from the same chap, who does not own a computer. He would like to submit his novel - which he has typed on a typewriter - to Snowbooks. I have tried to explain that not only do we have staff based 4000 miles apart, which means email is our preferred means of communication, but that we would struggle to have a meaningful working relationship without his being online. He didn't know what 'online' meant, and although I tried he couldn't fathom why I wouldn't agree to accept his typewritten manuscript. 'Even if I hand deliver it to the office?' he asked. Even then. 'But it's 200,000 words!' All the more reason not to chop a tree down. 'And how long has the company been established?' I'm dreadfully sorry, I'm rather busy and all the information is on our website. 'Website, dear?'
Phone call number two was to clarify our postcode. 'N for nothing, one, nine, J for Jezebel, N for nothing?'
Phone call number three was to ask whether Staples was a good place to buy an email address. I suggested he go to his local library and ask for help there. I hope the concept of a library isn't too modern for him.
Yes, I am being tough on him - probably over-tough. But he has taken up a half-hour of my day because he scorns computers and 'all that email nonsense.' And I tell you what - if his book's the best book I've ever read; if it's sweeping in its scope and reduces me to impassioned tears, there's no way on earth we're publishing it. There's more to being an author than being able to write.
Comments: 9
"There's more to being an author than being able to write"
Oooh, that'll get you lynched! It amazes me though that there are writers out there who don't see that unless you're Doris bl**dy Lessing part of your job is to conduct business in an efficient manner. And I bet even DL has email!
Posted by: Vanessa on July 2, 2008 04:27 PM
I know - I'm bracing myself for the onslaught! x
Posted by: Em on July 2, 2008 05:01 PM
I once saw a message-board comment which read something like, "You don't need to get all the words and punctuation right so long as you tell a good enough story, because that's what the editor's for," (only it wasn't nearly as beautifully-punctuated as that.) I nearly exploded; tried to calm down a little; then politely explained just what editors did and didn't do (which I am qualified to do, seeing as I used to be one).
Was it appreciated? Nope. Of course not. Do I still do it? Yep. Of course I do. Look at my blog. I just can't stop myself now.
I get few thanks but they are worth it, when they come.
Posted by: Jane Smith on July 2, 2008 05:27 PM
You'll get no blowback from me, Em, I think you're perfectly in the right. He can buy a printing press himself if he doesn't want to publish in the modern world.
Posted by: KatharineC on July 3, 2008 01:30 AM
Doris Lessing does have email, but isn't very good with suspenders, hairpins or personal mikes. How do I know these things? Ah, well, that would be telling.
Posted by: Sarah Bower on July 3, 2008 02:05 PM
Haha I feel for you. Had similar experiences when I was working as a magazine editor.
One 'potential freelancer' (who was a stranger to email) seemed to take a shine to me and kept phoning me up. Usually when we were on press. In the end I let him send me some samples, which turned out to be photos he'd had published in Country Living in about 1987 (really) and a virtually pornographic autobiographical story about a riding lesson which he'd had published nowhere.
Despite my reassurance that *I* would call *him* if we needed him, this guy kept phoning me up every few weeks to ask if we had anything for him.
You can't be soft with these people.
Posted by: leila on July 4, 2008 08:56 PM
When the manuscript arrives - and it will - by recorded delivery with lots of copyright symbols plastered all over it - sling it in the bin. Take it from one who's been there. It will be complete, unadulterated, total and utter - erm - rubbish.
Posted by: Sally Z on July 6, 2008 07:10 PM
Sally, how did you guess? The only thing you omitted was his lack of SAE. And it's a good job I have caller ID - he rang thrice over the weekend. Alas, his calls went unanswered.
Posted by: em on July 7, 2008 07:29 AM
A bit late in the day, but I've just come across a similar experience on the Pub Rants blog:
http://pubrants.blogspot.com/2008/06/summer-heat-must-be-culprit.html
Posted by: NaomiM on July 9, 2008 12:59 PM