Subscribe to RSS 2.0Eek! Authors
Now, when I talk about authors, remember I is one. Actually, before I say any more, that kind of talk makes me want to digress for a moment. Joss Whedon is getting ready to film his new show and said of his script and his excellent cast: All in all, pound for pound, soup to nuts, man vs beast, it's a pretty amazing ensemble. I'm not sure how I landed this troupe, but rest assured I'm gonna write bestest good word for talkacting to them yes! They're in good hands. But that's besides the point. I was just going to say two things about authors.
Firstly, it's scary when they try to press their manuscripts on you at the London Book Fair. This was new information to me. I did talk to a couple of really nice authors, but I also met a couple who appeared determined to make me publish their work by using a combination of intense staring, standing too close, and speaking in a menacing I-could-snap-at-any-moment monotone. Again, let me repeat, I have sympathy for authors because I have sympathy for me. But how is this tactic ever going to work? Yes, I'm afraid of you now, and no, I don't want to sign a contract with you so that we come into regular contact. Is it just a function of how important the pitching of their novel is to an author, that the pressure of the moment would turn their body language into that of a Mafia enforcer? Or have some people just had enough of being given the run-around and the fob-off and have decided they're going to get a straight answer out of someone even if it's just a call for security?
Secondly, I thought I would reiterate an author-centric point (assuming I haven't offended everyone and they've stopped reading). I bought a copy of one of my favourite books about six months back and gave it to Anna, who reads the lion's share of our submissions. She read two pages and said, "It's just not my thing." I also gave a copy of another of my favourite books to Em a few years back and she couldn't manage to fight the boredom enough to finish it. In fact she dropped it in the bath, I suspect partly because her grip on the book loosened slightly after its prose lulled her to sleep. And we three really are on the same wavelength in so many other ways. We laugh at the same weird, ridiculous things. We end up using the same expressions. We usually agree on which Doctor Who episodes are good and which aren't. And yet Anna and Em would have turned down two of my all-time top ten books. It seems crazy, but I just don't think there's any getting away from it. I think submissions work like that. It's something to think about if you happen to have had your manuscript rejected recently. By anyone.
Comments: 8
Do tell what your top ten all time books are...
Posted by: John A-W on April 18, 2008 10:47 AM
Lol! Rob. I wonder what that couple would have done if you'd read the first paragraph and said "sorry, I'm really not loving this", or "where's the hook?", or even, "have you considered doing a CW course?"
Posted by: NaomiM on April 18, 2008 11:02 AM
I think it takes serious guts to take your book in person to a publisher/editor/whatever at that kind of event, and if you have those kinds of guts, who knows what other weird characteristics you have? I can definitely sympathize with being sick of being brushed off by mail or email or form letter, but these people may be so...uh...creative that they just don't realize that staring creepily at a publisher may be the worst way to get themselves accepted.
I would have the tendency to stutter and perhaps wet my pants if I had to pitch my book in person, so becoming threatening and weird(er) would not really be my thing. (Hence those publishers who read these comments will know you won't be seeing me in person anytime soon.) But it's possible, I guess, for others to react differently to that kind of stress.
Posted by: KatharineC on April 18, 2008 01:29 PM
Hi Rob. To be honest I was quite nervous about saying "Hi" to you at the London Book Fair (just because you were there as a publisher) and I had no intention of forcing a manuscript into your palms. I recall passing the Snowbooks stand a few times and seeing you deep in conversation with various suited fellows, waiting for my opportunity and perhaps I sensed a little bit of foreboding in you when I introduced myself as 'Danny Rhodes, author' (as though you were half expecting me to pitch my latest novel at you)...which still sounds weird to me after 18 months, as though I'm actually living a lie and will be discovered at any moment...
Then Em came along and paid me a compliment which convinced me she must have thought I was somebody else (I have this terrible fear that people think I'm Dan Rhodes who is far more accomplished...)
I think you hit the nail on the head when you mention the pressure of the moment. I don't think I could ever submit a manuscript by hand. It would be a bit like meeting Bruce Springsteen in the flesh, something I still dream about at the age of 36 but something that would be so terrifying I'd make a complete **** of myself!
Posted by: Danny Rhodes on April 18, 2008 05:10 PM
Fear not, I know what Dan Rhodes looks like! My reaction was to do with the fact that I see you make comments everywhere and it's so nice to put a face to the name.
The thing that makes me most question authors who pitch on the spot is this: there is nothing to be discussed until we've read the book. What can we possibly talk about? The fact that it's a work of historical fiction - er, so what? We have to read the book before we can say anything useful at all. So send us the book, *then* we'll talk. Is what I usually think.
Posted by: Em on April 18, 2008 05:32 PM
Well, the Dan Rhodes fear comes in part from a talk I did at a University. I met the organiser in a bar and the first thing she said to me was "I wondered if you were going to be Dan Rhodes writing under a different name. He does that you know..." She seemed slightly disappointed that I wasn't.
Posted by: Danny Rhodes on April 18, 2008 06:43 PM
Danny, I hope I wasn't as off-putting after we'd met. Although, just as a general rule, I wish people found me less daunting before they'd met me but still just a tiny, little bit impressive afterwards.
Posted by: Rob on April 19, 2008 12:28 PM
Perhaps we need a new TV talent show: BookIdol?
Aspring authors need to pimp their book - live! - in front of a panel of book-ish experts (and Simon Cowell).
The winner receives a six figure/3-book contract.
Would it work?
Posted by: Christopher Teague on April 20, 2008 07:58 PM