Hey, anyone want to invite me to the Bookseller Retail Awards on Thursday? I am polite and entertaining, and scrub up nicely so won't be too much of an eyesore on your table (that a person can only sit at if she has bought or has been given a very expensive ticket). I can laugh in the right places at jokes, and can also talk sensibly about current affairs in publishing and the wider world, as well as strategy and trading tactics. I am moderately indiscreet about things that don't matter too much, so good for low-level gossip. I don't drink much so there will be no messy clearing up at the end of the evening. Oh, and I am bubbly with a GSOH.

Reply to box number 766926657 or email me.