Gah

posted by Emma on August 13, 2007 09:29 AM

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The first email of the week - the *very first email* - is a request from a customer to authorise returns of more than 3000 units across four titles.

There is a shop two doors along from the office called Pentonville Rubber. They sell foam, rubber mats and bean bags in horrible colours. There is no parking. Their window is broken. The foam is all discoloured round the edges. And how much demand for rubber mats can there possibly be? Sometimes I wonder how they stay in business.

Today, I'm thinking that their industry looks a damn sight easier than mine.

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Comments: 8


Oh God, how awful. Please tell me one wasn't mine. My toes are curling and teeth gritted in sympathy.

And don't even think about going into rubber, not a nice girl like you.


As Joxer Daly might have said:
Nil Desperandum captain!
(Juno And The Paycock

But that is a nasty Monday. Hopefully the week will improve.

Eoin


I've been a regular customer at Pentonville Rubber over the last 10 years when doing some little furniture projects. They're in business because people will always want somewhere comfy to park their arse. Unfortunately, when their arse is parked very few of them will open a book.

Still, 3000 units is pretty harsh. My sympathies. Those damn 3 for 2's...


Sarah is funny. And I was just saying the other day, I wouldn't mind betting Adam is a regular customer of Pentonville Rubber, if you take my meaning. My meaning, of course, being that he often repairs furniture.


Yoiks! 3000?! You'll be able to throw out your chairs and make "book-chairs", a "book-sofa" and still have a few left over...

Sorry for being flippant: what exactly happens to returns? Do you re-sell them, or bin them?


Christopher - the desperate, awful truth is that it costs an additional 9% of net receipts to process returns, so the vast majority end up being pulped. If they are pulped, it 'only' costs an additional 2%.

If a book gets returned, there are a number of costs:

- The print bill
- The cost of shipping
- The returns processing bill, or
- The pulping bill
- The royalty (if the royalty was calculated and paid before the return came back, which can be up to 15 months after publication).

Add that to the fact that you were expecting money to come into the business, and had therefore reasonably developed plans to spend it, which promptly vanishes into a puff of smoke, and you'll see why it is rather desperate.


OK, you've set my mind racing with thoughts of Alan Partridge's 'Bouncing Back' heading straight into some kind of mixing machine, but can you not remainder these books somehow, so they remain in circulation rather than become Argos catalogues?


Ugh, that *is* a horrible thought, Andrew.

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