Rob has just phoned to ask whether I know what bat droppings look like. Fortunately I keep on hand at all times a copy of Animal Tracks and Signs, vended to me by the lovely Bookseller Crow on the Hill, so I was able to tell him that "they somewhat resemble mouse droppings, but can be distinguished by the fact... that they consist exclusively of finely divided insect remains". He asked because this is Day Two in his new countryside home, where there is no internets, a bad phone reception and bats who come in through his top window and poo on the floor. Although that sounds less than ideal, he appears to be happier than I've heard him for a long time, and the country air - and friendly, non-scummy neighbours - appear to be suiting him down to the ground. He has the most wonderful views around his new barn, which he'll no doubt post as soon as he gets BT to lay four miles of cable (no joke).

I imagine not having access to the web is like having an eye poked out. Brave, brave Rob. And who will upload the cute little pictures on my blog posts?