Alison, Clemmie, & Romily

“Meg Miskin-Garside was my community midwife and cared for me while I was pregnant with my first child Clemency. As an anxious first-time mother she put me completely at ease with her calm, friendly manner. Her total dedication for all in her care was frequently remarked upon among others she was looking after in our health centre waiting room!
My day of labour arrived in March 2003 and I arrived at the hospital in trepidation and not a little pain. While the hospital midwife was booking me in there was a knock on the door and Meg was there; I felt immediately relieved. She was on duty in the hospital that night and I couldn’t have been more thrilled.
My labour was difficult as Clemmie was in a tricky position but Meg was always there reassuring, explaining and making everything feel perfectly normal and fine; she also included my concerned and rather redundant husband brilliantly at every stage. I had an epidural in the end but with Meg’s expert guidance I was able to deliver Clemmie normally (just before Meg’s shift ended- I’m sure that incentivised me).
When I became pregnant with Romily when Clemmie was 9 months old I couldn’t imagine having anyone else to deliver my baby. Meg again looked after me throughout my pregnancy, visiting me at home, reassuring, calming and including Clemmie who was bemused by my ever-increasing tummy. My second pregnancy seemed incredibly short but not as short as my two hour labour. Romily arrived into the world fast and furious. Meg was there and all went well.
Meg is, as far as I am concerned, a ‘one-off’. Her dedication to her job is always evident and nothing is too much trouble for her. During both my pregnancies I felt relaxed, calm and in control and I’m certain that is due to the excellent care I received. In a process where you feel out of control Meg enables you to feel in control. At times when all dignity is lost Meg makes everything seem dignified. These I think are truly special qualities.
If I ever have any more children (which at this moment in time with two children under two seems highly unlikely!) I couldn’t have anyone else to care for me while pregnant or deliver my babies.”

Armelle, David & Youna

“The first time I saw Meg I knew she was the one! I knew me and my baby would be safe with her. I trusted her completely right from the start and was proved 100% right. Throughout my pregnancy, she was my “tree”. She finds the right words that soothe the heart, she is sincere and truthful and strong but also understanding and compassionate. It is so great to be advised by a medical professional who doesn’t try to pretend she has no feelings. Meg has feelings and says so but her feelings never invade yours, they just make you feel more like a worthy human being.

I wanted a homebirth and when my waters broke at only 36 weeks and I didn’t go into labour within 12 hours, I was under intense pressure from hospital staff to come in and be induced. But I was scared and didn’t want to and Meg supported me against “normal protocol” to stay at home. But I trusted her so much that if she had said we had to go to hospital, I would have gone because I knew she was on my side and wouldn’t be saying that just because “it was procedure”. Still, in the middle of the night, I was terrified that I was being reckless. I was shaking and shaking, teeth clattering. I called her and she came to see me. We just talked and she reassured me, the shaking stopped. It was just my body trying to evacuate the stress I had been under at the hospital. I am not exaggerating when I say that by doing this she allowed me to accept my baby’s early arrival and I went into labour the next morning. Six hours later, my lovely daughter was born at home and Meg’s presence helped tremendously to make this moment the best moment of my life. Knowing she was there, trusting she was looking after us allowed me to let go and release the fear. It was a wonderful experience both for me and for my husband. I am glad Meg was the first person my baby saw.”

Emma, Andy and Rowan

On Monday night, my husband Andy rubbed marjoram oil into my skin. His tai chi teacher knows a thing or two about Chinese medicine and recommended it. Whether it worked or not is hard to say - but my waters broke at 1.45am that night.

It wasn’t a spectacular break, just a trickle, so it was enough to be excited without having to be in too much pain. I wanted to rest as much as possible, but couldn’t relax because I was worried about a client’s project - I didn’t think they’d received a large email which they needed - so at 3am resent it. I know, mental - but it did mean I could completely relax knowing that there was absolutely nothing that needed doing.

Contractions started up about 3.30am, but they were just inklings, and I let Andy sleep until around 5am, when I decided that this definitely wasn’t a false alarm. At 6.30am we phoned Meg, who asked a few questions and resolved to come round soon. She arrived at 8.30am at which point, he said later, Andy could relax a little as the pressure of being main carer was relieved. He had set the birth pool up in the bedroom, and filled it by the time Meg arrived. Meg had asked on the phone how painful the ctx were on a scale of 1-10, and I remember saying 7 or 8. Shallow laugh - how little I knew. I tried out the birth pool and it was blissful – the pain reduced immediately and I remember saying that I would have paid £2000, £3000, £7000 for a pool! Good value.  

Ctx started getting stronger as Meg settled in, and I found the most comfortable position was on my back in bed, oddly. Meg wasn’t particularly thrilled about this, because it could make the baby’s position posterior, but kindly let me continue when she saw how painful any other position was for me.

I was trying to use my hypnobirthing techniques, and doing very well with them. I would relax my eyes, my forehead, my cheeks, my jaw and let that relaxation float down my body. It was a simple thing to focus on for each contraction - to identify the tension and melt it away. I could do that in bed, but in any other position the pain was blinding, explosive, overwhelming and unbearable. Even in the pool, on my back the pain was manageable but on my front or side it was too strong.

Rather annoyingly I was also nauseous, as a result of the pain. The nausea made the ctx unpleasant and as though they affected my entire system, as well as the localized pain, which felt very hard to manage. Meg gave me homeopathic pulsatilla – who knows if it worked or if it was in my head, but by 9.50 the nausea lessened a bit and I felt very sleepy. Between ctx I am sure I slept a little, as I got more time off between them (earlier, they’d run into each other).  In these contractions I remember pulling up on Andy for dear life, who was so wonderful throughout the whole experience, and never let on through voice or face that he was under any strain at all. Of course, in the following days we both had to recover – me from the effort, him from seeing me in pain all day and not being able to do anything about it.  

At that point, around 10.15, the relaxation was much easier to achieve as the nausea was lessened. It was still bloody painful, but I thought that my only job was to stay relaxed, which took all my concentration.

BY 11am, when Meg monitored the baby she was picking up his heartrate in a different place to normal. That cheered me, since it meant he must be moving down. And by noon, I had started the urge to push, which I thought was the beginning of the end. But when Meg examined me at 1.30 I was only 3-4cm dilated. Meg reassured me that if I needed to push, it was for a reason, and if I needed to be on my back, same deal. So I did. Afterwards we could see that Rowan had a slight swelling off the centre of his head, which suggests that he was not quite correctly aligned and the pushing must have been to correct that. It’s interesting and sobering to think that if I’d have been in hospital or under the care of a less competent midwife I would have been given an epidural to stop the ctx, which would inevitably have led to further interventions.

Meg was, however, concerned by the ctx because I would tire quicker, so I returned to the pool at 2pm. At 3.15 after a lot of pushing, I asked to try gas and air. It was great – the pain was just as strong, I could tell, but I had the space to distance myself a little from it. When Meg voiced concerns again about getting overtired, I was able to say that I felt strong, and not too tired. By this time, Meg’s colleague Liz had arrived, and was wonderfully supportive, helping me to try ‘horse lips’ to stop me pushing, and providing sips of juice at just the right time.

And then – the most glorious conversation of my life. Meg asked me to see if I could feel the head, and I could! I had been so worried about all the pushing being for nothing, and not progressing, and perhaps an inflamed cervix (which the medical profession would have you believe is the result of pushing against a cervix that is not fully dilated) and had been steeling myself for another 18 hours, and dreading the possible conversation about when to go to hospital. It was only at this moment that I knew I would get my home birth. I carried on pushing, and whilst I suppose the pain intensified, I couldn’t have cared less. Each contraction brought Rowan closer and closer. I was perfectly able to push just enough to get him closer without stretching anything too quickly. In what felt like about 3 minutes his head had crowned and was out (it was actually from 4.30 to 4.58). His head was out at 4.58, and his body at 5pm exactly. I picked him up out of the water and onto my front. I can’t adequately describe my next feelings. It was astonishing – a mixture of huge pride at what I had done, amazement at the little person in my arms, and wonder at his large eyes and calm, focused and steady gaze. Andy had seen the head being born and then came to kiss me and marvel at his new son.

Rowan had Apgars of 10 and 10, and Meg warmed up the pool water a bit so we could stay in it to enjoy some skin to skin contact. The cord wasn’t cut, and was allowed to stop pulsating. I got out of the pool into my own bed, and delivered the placenta about an hour and a half later. Elated, calm, proud, and so utterly happy - and so unbeliveably grateful to Meg for making it possible to have the birth I longed to give my son.